In this weeks Newsletter:

• Examples and ideas to steal

• How I became a Dream Weaver

• The listen capture act framework

• It’s hard to pay attention and be present

• Why most people won’t do this even though it’s simple

Listen here,

You are a Dream-Weaver.

What is that exactly? (I'll get to that in a moment)

If you implement these ideas your friends will ask:

How did you know that?

or, how did you remember that?

(after you give them exactly what they wanted)

Well, dear friend,

Today I'm revealing a secret.

It's a secret that let me give a friend of mine her EXACT Boba order (even though I don't know anything about Boba)

It allowed me to give someone else a $150 gift card, and a Twinkie (and they both made almost the same impact)

I got another friend his favorite granola from trader joes.

I sent Starbucks to friends and family hundreds and thousands of miles away.

Okay, so, What the heck is a dream weaver?

I'll get to that, dear friend, but first let me explain the biggest problem.

Problem: It’s hard to pay attention and be present.

Most people can't remember the name of the person they met 10 seconds ago.

This isn't always a memory problem. It's a lack of PRESSENCE problem.

When you become genuinely interested in others, you choose to be present. (and that's the greatest gift you can give anyone)

So often you are in your own head. Thinking about yesterday or tomorrow, you forget about the person who's right in front of you.

Now I'm not here to point finger, I'm just as guilty at points.

What I am trying to do is simple:

shine a spotlight on is how simple (not easy) this is to solve.

Christmas is coming.

What?

I know, that seem out of no where, keep reading. (it'll make sense in a moment)

Have you been listening? Capturing? Acting?

Now I know what you're saying: I'm not good at gifts, ____ over there always gets everyone cool gifts.

I get it. I have a sibling who CRUSHES the gift giving game. (and has since she was real young)

So yes, there are people who are "naturally" good at this. But you know what's amazing?

IT'S. A. SKILL.

which means if it's important, you can learn it.

Did you know that your friends and family are always telling you exactly what they want?

They are saying what they are thinking about. What their dreams are. And sometimes, sometimes, it's not expensive at all.

So what should I do. How do I become this dream weaver that makes people dreams wants and desires a reality? (Hint, this is how you crush at giving Christmas gifts too)

The Listen Capture Act Framework

So here's the process I go through. It wasn't always this formal. But Its evolved over time into something I do with most of my friends and family. Why? Because as good of a memory as I have, I can't remember everything. (and my guess is you can't either)

THIS is how you become a Dream-Weaver.

This may look simple, that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

I know what you’ll think after reading the next section: That’s so simple. I know that already.

True.

That’s the hard part. It’s also the arbitrage. Because so many people KNOW they should do it (but don’t DO it) that gives you a huge advantage if you do.

okay, now to the good stuff.

Listen to what you're friends say. (choose 1-3 friends you'll do this for)

Be on the lookout for ways you can create special moments for them.

First, find out their love language. What are the love languages? Physical touch, acts of service, gifts, quality time, and words of affirmation. (Also if you've never read the 5 love languages it's worth a read)

Once you know what their top 2 love languages are, then you can give them things that will pack the biggest punch. (For example: I just met someone. Gifts mean nothing to him, but quality time is important. That means taking a walk will be a bigger gift than giving him any super expensive gift.

Okay, so you know their love language(s). now what? well, next you listen throughout the conversation. As you are listening you are looking for wants or needs. things that they are either unable or unwilling to do for themselves, yet they want to do.

This can be as simple as dark chocolate. Somehow all my friends know I love dark chocolate (I ended up with 1.6 lbs. of dark chocolate for my birthday. (took me 6 months to go through it all haha)

I often look for simple things like: what do they order at Starbucks. Do they have a favorite snack, or a favorite restaurant. Just by reading this you will start to notice these things.

Now this next part, this is the really important part. Keep reading.

Capture what you're friends say.

I have a google doc labeled: Unreasonable hospitality for friends. (I could make a notion template. Let me know if you’d find that useful)

Why?

Why write these things down?

Because I care deeply about these people.

And when I'm driving by a friends work and I want to make his day, I look at my google doc. And when I show up, randomly, with a Twinkie. it freaking made his day! And that is the super cool part about capturing.

See, it isn't just information for information’s sake.

It's the ability to make the people who you care about feel incredibly special. Why? Because few people listen. Even fewer act on what they've heard. So when you do, you make yourself stand out. You're choosing to see and care for people.

Act on what you're friends say.

What does this look like?

You’re an adult. you can figure it out.

But if you’re stuck here are some ideas to steal: (they’re free, just like this newsletter)

One quick reminder: know their love language, this informs what gifts will be meaningful to them. (remember it’s not about what you like, but what will make them feel loved)

Once you know these things, you've got the ammunition to shoot and hit the target.

One of my favorites is the you've got mail!

I've sent Starbucks or other local coffee shops to my sister in law in another state. I've sent drinks on valentines day to my sisters and mom. (despite living hundreds of miles away. (Uber eats or any other delivery service)

This is where if you've paid attention or literally just asked "what's your favorite Starbucks order. then, on some random day, you send an Uber eats of said order to their home. You can also do this with food. if you know their favorite food. (had a friend who loves mac and cheese from noodles and CO. I sent that to his house after his wisdom teethe were removed)

Honestly, it’s less about the drink, and more that you put thought and effort to think of them and send them something. It’s the action that shows the love.

The Next thing is with snacks. If you know someone LOVES a specific snack, and you can randomly get it for them, freaking do it. (it's usually like $4 dollars)

I have a friend, and his top love language is physical touch. So no matter what when I see him I'll give him a hug. It means a lot to him.

Sometimes the gift is expensive. This is a problem, or an opportunity. I had a friend who loves high end restaurants. He was also the leader of a group of friends where I'd made some of my best friends.

I wanted to get him a gift card to a very high end restaurant. and there was a problem, see, I was in college, and didn't have any money. But what I did have was friends who also cared for this individual. So between 7 of us we got bought a $150 gift card, along with the coolest spider man card I'd ever seen (it was $10 buy itself). But that's the thing. When you know someone, you know the things they like, and you can act and get them EXACTLY the things they like.

What do you have but don’t use? I had a Gui that I don't use anymore, those things are $80-100+ and it was simply sitting in my closet. if you can give the things, that aren't useful to you, but are very useful to a friend, do it! I had a friend who had an extra flashlight, and he gave it to me. That has been a very helpful gift!

So that's the framework. Listen capture act.

Last thing, you are a dream weaver.

why do all this?

You remind people that they matter. by listening capturing and acting, you are saying. "you're worth paying attention to." it causes these little pockets of joy to erupt in them. And you know what happens after that? They want to do the same thing for other people. You've become a dream weaver. and when you NAIL it. There is nothing better. Because you Listened, you captured, and you acted.

Well, that's all for now.

I wrote it, you read it, What you think? Let me know if you're going to make someone's dreams come true ;)

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