How NOT to die alone.

How Moments Create Momentum

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In this week’s newsletter: (3 min read)

The #1 Regret of the dying

What Monet taught me (it’s simple)

How small moments create momentum.

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Friendships (and lives) are built one moment at a time.

Moment. Moment. Moment. Moment. Moment.

Then, momentum.

(See what I did there? That’s five moments in and you’re already feeling it.)

Imagine if I said "moment" 30 times. You’d either be hypnotized or annoyed. 

But here’s the thing—**repetition works.**

It takes more energy to stop a rolling boulder than to keep it going.

And before you know it, you start seeing yourself differently—like, “Wait, am I… good at this?!”

That’s the power of showing up over and over. There’s beauty in repetition.

Monet, the French painter with serious focus (and possibly too much free time), painted the same haystack 30 times. That’s right—**the same haystack**. Thirty times. Most of us can’t even choose what to watch on Netflix without panic-scrolling for 45 minutes.

But Monet knew something. He saw that if you repeat something enough, you start to see the hidden layers—depth, texture, beauty.

What does this have to do with being a better friend?

Everything.

After writing 38 newsletters, I’ve realized I’m basically a newsletter machine.

After detailing 400 cars, you start seeing details that make people go, "Is this a new car?"

Same deal with friendships.

When you keep showing up for people—being intentional, giving freely—you start building something real. You create moments that stack up like brushstrokes on a canvas. At some point, people start looking at your life like, “Wow. How did they do that?”

But hey, I didn’t always know this. From 18 to 26, I was like a kid in a candy store who couldn’t pick a candy, so I just stood there staring. Spoiler alert: not choosing is also a choice, and it’s probably the worst one.

If you’re 24 and reading this, just pick your haystack. Start painting. You don’t need to commit forever; you just need to commit for now. And trust me—30 reps later, you’ll be glad you did. (And if you’re 24 and already painting your haystack… teach me your ways.)

When we grasp that life is about people, when we make people our highest priority, this shift becomes the best measure of maturity, wholeness, and health.

Erwin Raphael McManus

Same with friendships. Want to be a better friend? Stop overthinking it. Build moments. Be intentional. Go to coffee. Make dinner. Take a walk. Over time, you'll find the beauty in those small, consistent actions. You’ll send that random Venmo, write that “just because” note, and your actions will communicate one thing:

You matter.

I get it, you probably don’t believe me yet. But look at your actions. They’ll tell you everything you need to know. (often harsh, but fair)

When you focus on one moment, one thing, one friendship, one relationship, you pour your energy into it—that creates fire. (like a magnifying glass channeling the sun) And what does fire create? Momentum. (Also… marshmallows, but let’s stay on track here.)

So here’s the action:

Start building moments in your friendships. Use the FBI framework. Send that text. Write that note. Show up, again and again, like Monet returning to his haystack. Look at who you hang out with each month. Don’t just let chance determine your friendships. Write down who you currently hang out with at least once a month, and who you’d like to hangout with. Then, take action. Set up coffee’s. Walks. Dinners. People are what make life beautiful. Don’t miss them.

Losing touch with friends is one of the top regrets of the dying. Don’t let that be you.

And one day, you’ll look up and realize: you’ve built friendships people are amazed at—and yeah, they’re probably thinking, How did they pull that off?

(psst it was being intentional, wanna learn the process? Read last week newsletter) How I read minds (with proof) 

Well, that was fun. I wrote it. You read it. Lemme know what you thought.

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