Dear Andre, (4 minute read)

Building Friendships?

You’ve got one very important decision to make. Because it affects everything else you do. No matter what else you do you absolutely MUST figure out which camp you are in, and gear everything you do accordingly, or your going to have a disaster on your hands.

The decision?

Whether to grow you storytelling skill slowly, organically, with few reps over a long period of time, or whether you have a big bang with fast growth, lot’s of repetitions in a condensed period of time.

Storytelling.

If you learn this skill—and you make an effort to be around people and try new things—it can transform your life. (I know, that’s a pretty low bar. It’s easy to just focus on your business and skip everything else.)

But we both know that living like that won’t lead to the life you truly want.

So, do stuff. Meet people. And then practice writing stories about your experiences.

Here’s my story:

I’d believed a lie.

I had to be good at everything.

That worked for a while—until it didn’t.

At 24 (your age), I realized I hadn’t developed any standout skills. I had some influence and was a decent drummer, but that was about it.

Then, one semester in college, I had an epiphany.

See, growing up, I expected myself to get all A’s. Anything less felt like failure. I know you’re not in school anymore, but I know you’re similar. You expect yourself to be amazing at everything you do.

Here’s what I realized: I could apply the 80/20 rule to my schoolwork.

What’s the 80/20 rule? It’s the idea that 80% of your results come from 20% of your effort. I was taking five classes, so I figured one of them would have the biggest impact on my future.

That class, for me, was business writing.

I decided I didn’t just want an A in business writing. I wanted the material to actually change who I was at a core level. And I was okay with putting less effort into the other classes (like geology), even if that meant getting a B.

For the first time, I gave my full focus to one thing—and I was okay doing less in other areas.

Here’s what I learned:

When I focus on one thing and let it change who I am—not just learn it for a grade—my life improves. Oddly enough, I enjoyed the other classes more because I gave myself the freedom to prioritize what mattered most.

I still use this approach today. I apply it to courses, books, and even the Bible.

For most of my life, I had so many interests it was overwhelming. But I’ve learned that focusing on the 20% of things that create the biggest impact leads to a better return on time, energy, and money.

In fact, I often focus on just one thing in each area of my life: faith, personal growth, finances, business, friendships, family, and health.

I also regularly ask myself: What do I need to cut or eliminate so I can focus on what truly makes my life better?

So here’s my advice:

1. Find the one thing that matters most right now, and focus on it.

2. Do stuff and meet people. Interesting stories come from lived experiences.

The story of my own life compels me. I try new things, meet new people, and then capture those stories to share them in a meaningful way.

Here’s the thing: You don’t have to be good at everything.

In fact, you only need to be amazing at one thing to build an incredible business. So choose something to master. And do things that bring you into contact with new people—some of them might change your life forever.

As you try different things, you’ll learn more about yourself: what you love, what you don’t, and how to relate to a wide variety of people. That’s a gift.

So, try new things. Meet people. Capture what happens. Craft stories.

The Action

Okay, Andre, now you’ve heard my third signature story.

Here’s exactly what I want you to do:

1) Practice one story this week.

At first, it’ll feel overwhelming. By the end, you’ll be able to build stories yourself. It’s kind of a superpower. Don’t miss it. (Isn't getting a bit easier this third time?)

2) Accept that this is lame.

Writing out and practicing the story you want to tell is lame. But that’s why, if you do it, you’ll stand out. Most people will never take action. But I know you. You’re different. You’ll follow through and do this. (Dude, I’m so freaking excited to hear your third story.)

3) Write like you talk.

How? Send a voice memo to yourself (or record a video) of you sharing the basics of the story. Transcribe it into written form.

Before I Write Anything, I Answer 3 Questions:

• What’s the emotion?

• What’s the idea?

• What’s the action?

The basics: Every story needs an intention and an obstacle:

What do you want?

What’s in the way?

Next, you need a beginning, middle, and end to the story. In the voice memo, say:

1. Here’s where it started.

2. Here’s this moment I want to focus on.

3. Here’s how it ended.

Ideally, you have this 5-second moment of transformation. Where you begin and where you end should be the exact opposite of each other.

Side Note: you need to have an obstacle. People want you to succeed—but not right away. Pixar’s storytelling rule: If it was too easy, people are bored (and jealous). So, make sure you zoom in on the hard moments. People don’t love stories because the hero succeeds. They love the hero because of how hard he tries. So show how hard you try.

Remember, if this is your third story, it’ll probably suck. That’s okay. Like I said, I’ve listened to this one podcast about this concept at least 36 times over the last 5 months. I’m still learning more. That’s why I’m giving you 5 weeks to try to get better at this. It isn’t overnight.

Well, Andre, write your first (or second or third) story. At first, you’ll say, “I don’t have any stories. My life isn’t that interesting.” Here’s the thing: That’s not true. The business you have? Look at how you started that. That’s one story right there. Start with that. People love to buy from people, not companies. So be a person. Share your story. Share your struggle. People will be rooting for your success. I know I sure am.

As you start looking for and finding stories, you’re going to start having this other problem: You’ll have so many stories, you won’t have the time to write and refine them all. It’s a wonderful problem to have.

Love you, dude.

– Daniel

P.S. Want that new vehicle look and smell?

Want your friends to be jealous of how good your car looks?

Your family to wonder how you had the time in such a busy time of the year?

Baarns Detailing can help you out.

Get a free Leather treatment ($50 Value) with any Exterior or Interior Detail booked in December. (Only 6 slots left)

Booking link: https://calendly.com/danielbaarns/detail-appointment

P.P.S. Booking also Unlocks access to buy friends/family gift cards at 60% off. (Limit two per person and only 25 left)

Reply “Gift Card” for details.

Resource: The podcast I’ve listened to at least 36 times: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlTA4wXSACE