The Secret Weapon for Building Trust (It's Not What You Think)

Dear Andre,

You ever shake someone’s hand, and it’s so limp you wonder if you accidentally grabbed a wet noodle?

Yeah, trust doesn’t start there.

But don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.

Here’s the deal:

Everything I’m about to share comes down to one simple truth:

Be genuinely interested in people.

When you start with honest admiration for others and layer the right skills on top, you build something beautiful: trust.

Trust is the cornerstone of every great relationship. It is hard to build, easy to break, and without it, nothing works.

Sidenote: have you been adding fun into your introductions like we talked about last week?

There are four components of a great first impression:

1. Fun

2. Trust

3. Respect

4. Turning the spotlight back on them

Trust is the one I’ve struggled with the most. (More on that in a bit.)

But here’s the thing. Trust isn’t just a relationship thing. It is a life thing.

You trust the chair you’re sitting in not to collapse under you.
You trust some people to show up early (and others to always be late).
You trust certain people to say the hard truths, even when it is unpopular.

Without trust, everything feels different, doesn’t it?

Now, here’s a question for you:

What builds trust faster than anything else?

Touch.

Touch builds trust.

It sounds so simple, but understanding body language and using touch well can be a game-changer.

Why I Struggled with This

Growing up homeschooled, I didn’t get much practice with body language. I didn’t realize how much of trust-building happens nonverbally.

That all changed when I read a book on body language at 22. Mind = Blown. I learned things about myself that I didn’t even know.

For instance, I noticed how I naturally adjust my body when I want to pay attention. I turn my chair or face something directly, as if my body is saying, “I’m all in.”

From that point on, I started aligning my physical actions with my thoughts. It made a huge difference.

How to Use Touch to Build Trust

There are two key types of touch you should master:

1. Greetings

Have you ever walked into a group of strangers, and the person who invited you forgot to introduce you? Awkward, right? But as soon as you are introduced, things feel easier.

Touch works the same way. It breaks the ice.

Here’s a quick cheat sheet:

• Business settings: Firm handshake.

• Casual settings: Go for a hug if it feels natural.

• With guys: The classic bro hug. (Think handshake + one-arm tap. You know the drill.)

Touch signals belonging. It says, “You’re in.”

I’ll never forget walking 100 kilometers in Spain with the same group of people. By Day 4, something felt off. No one was hugging, handshaking, or even fist-bumping. I finally realized what was missing: the little touches that make us feel connected.

So, I started asking for hugs in the morning or evening. (Yes, I’m that guy.) It made a huge difference.

2. Emphasizers

High-fives are underrated.

Whenever someone shares a win, give them a high-five. Yesterday, I gave two high-fives in one gym conversation. Small? Sure. But it instantly connected us.

Here’s the key:

• Stick to “safe” zones: shoulders, arms, forearms.

• Keep it brief: One Mississippi, then release. (no hover hands or lingering here)

It’s not rocket science, but it works.

Your Action Plan

1. Master the greeting touch.

   • Walk into a group, shake hands, make eye contact, and introduce yourself.

   • Skip this, and you are missing out on trust-building gold.

2. Use high-fives and hugs often.

   • Celebrate people’s wins with a quick high-five.

   • Hug whenever the setting allows (and when it feels natural).

The Deeper Work: Be Honest in Spite of Your Interests

This is where I’m still growing. Having the hard conversations.

A friend once told me something that hit me so hard it is now on my vision board:

Passivity kills.

Avoiding the tough stuff doesn’t help anyone. I am learning to call things out, have the conversations I’ve been avoiding, and, hardest of all, say no when it is the right thing to do.

Because if passivity kills, proactivity brings life.

So here’s my challenge for you:

Be honest in spite of your interests.
Use touch to build trust.

Well, that’s all for now. Next week, we’ll talk about putting some respec on your name. You don’t want to miss it.

Adios,
-Daniel