The #1 killer of friendships. (1. Listen)

In this week’s newsletter: (5.5 min read)

Shortcuts:

• Two Stories That Changed My Life

  • The problem with mono-tasking.

  • Choose ONE THING you should do.

    • The #1 Killer of Friendships

Sidenote: This newsletter is focusing on the the first step of the Listen Capture Act framework.

I don't care how right my dad was.

I hated structure.

I didn't listen.

I HATED details and process.

But when he said these words I never forgot them. (and it changed my life)

Now, since I was 15 I wanted one thing:

A successful business.

At 16, My boss said to me:

You'll be the president of this company one day.

And I remember thinking to myself “I don't want to be the president of this company.”

But 10 years later it didn't feel like I'd amounted to much.

Now, at 26, 7 months into my second business, I’m talking with my dad.

We’re in the kitchen, it's a Saturday morning at 6:43 AM.

Leaning against the counter with my arms crossed he says these words.

Sidenote: Have you ever had a parent say exactly what you've felt for your ENTIRE life? (Yet it's still difficult to hear?) That was this moment for me.

“Daniel you have so much potential, but you’re so scattered. Choose one thing. Get really good at it. Then move on to the next thing. Nothing is a life sentence.”

That was the first moment I decided to focus on one thing.

Now, just a few days ago, I had another moment.

He's standing in front of me.

Fully present. Listening. Eyes forward.

After he walks away I’m struck by an unusual feeling…

Now, I’m at lifetime. It’s a Thursday at 2:33PM. I’m writing this newsletter, I had a detail cancel last minute (which rarely happens) and I have this conversation.

This moment might just be a key to unlock the door to my future.

I put my finger on why this felt unusual.

It’s rare to be listened to this way.

Worse, I noticed something about myself—I rarely listen this way.

So why am I telling you this? Why does it matter?

Because he did something incredibly simple but profoundly difficult.

He.

was.

present.

The problem with mono-tasking.

Now, let me be perfectly clear.

As I write this, I’m not great at this.

Being present.

Doing one thing.

I’m just some random guy on the internet sharing moments that have changed my life forever.

Because this guy, Adam, by simply listening and being present, has shifted the way I approach life.

See, most of my life, I’ve been racing from one task to the next, trying to do all the things. But with Adam, there’s something different—a clear bias for action, grounded in living with intention. It’s challenging, honestly. He’s all-in, every time. When he’s with you, he’s with you.

It makes me want to be fully present here, in this one thing: writing to you. As you read this on a Saturday morning, after a long work week, a hike with friends, or growing your business, here’s my confession:

I’m so achievement-oriented that I often check boxes more than I enjoy moments. If you’re reading this, you might be the same. Doing things isn’t our problem; slowing down is. How do we stop? How do we put down the laptop, pause the podcast, and just be present?

I’d love to be able to mono-task. Just do one thing at a time, yet somehow, that’s nearly impossible for me. Yesterday, I found myself making eggs while cleaning my car (yes, at the same time—don’t ask). It's classic me, juggling when I should be focusing. What I truly need is to write out my priorities each day and tackle them, one by one.

There’s this idea from The One Thing that says to have a priority, not priorities. Once you make everything important, nothing truly is. And honestly? I struggle with that, which is why I’m writing it here. I’m in this with you.

Here are the areas I want to grow by year’s end:

- Newsletter

- Detailing business

- Being present with friends

- Being present with family, whether they’re 3,000 miles away or in the next room

- Getting closer to God

- Learning Russian

- Memorizing Romans 8

- Being a better storyteller

- Staying healthy

Each of these matters. Some are time-consuming; others are easier to maintain.

This past week, I found out how helpful batching tasks can be. Instead of ten business calls daily (my “one thing” for work), I did 50 calls in one go on Friday. Four hours, and boom—done. The same goes for this newsletter. Writing daily, practicing copywriting 10 minutes each day—small, consistent actions that will compound over time.

Side note: If you told me last December that I’d release 39 newsletters in a year, I’d have looked at you like you were insane.

I hated writing. I lost a friend at 13 because of a miscommunication via text and told myself I was “a bad writer.” That belief stuck until I was 27. (Isn't it insane how stories form humans?)

Anyway, my challenge to myself this week is simple:

Plan diligently (especially the one thing) so everything big gets accounted for. And it looks something like this:

Newsletter Process 

1. Mental dump of ideas (like right now at 2:21 PM on a Sunday)

2. Edit (probably Monday morning at 5:33 AM before detailing a car)

3. Use ChatGPT for grammar checks—and maybe a dash of humor, if it’s feeling dull

4. Add it into Beehive and spend Tuesday coming up with 10-30 headlines and subheads (choose by Wednesday)

5. Thursday: Use my custom copywriting GPT to create Instagram carousels, pre- and post-CTAs

6. Schedule everything in Meta Business Suite (then repost each day to Stories)

Detailing Process 

1. Thursday: Batch-detailing content scheduled for M/W/F posting

2. Write down names of interested clients who haven’t booked, set a 4-hour Friday block to call each person, and keep my calendar full (two slots left for next week!)

3. Respond to messages/DM’s at noon and 5PM daily instead of sporadically, so I can focus. (Presence is the goal.)

Other things? Schedule my workouts (5 per week), one line of Russian, and a verse from Romans 8 each day. This is why scheduling even small stuff matters. Without it, things fall through the cracks—*important* things get missed.

Now, you might think, “This sounds like a lot of effort for a simple goal.” And maybe you’re right. Choosing one important thing each day isn’t hard technically, but it sure isn’t easy. (for me)

But you know what’s worse?

Reaching the end of the day and realizing you did everything except the one thing that mattered most. That’s unacceptable to me. And I’m guessing it isn’t for you either.

So here’s the action:

Choose ONE THING you should do.

Choose one thing that, if it’s the only thing you get done today, you’d feel content. Start with that. Then move on to the rest. (if you plan this for a week at a time it’s much easier than trying to do this each morning)

If you don’t know where to start.

Just do this (one thing)

Be present with one friend or family member each day.

Resource: how I make people feel special in 1 minute or less.

You can use the listen capture act framework to become more thoughtful. This entire newsletter is focusing on the the first step (the listen part) of the Listen Capture Act framework)

Because being present takes effort and planning.

In person, on the phone. (It even works on social media) See if it doesn’t change the rest of the day.

The goal is simple. Remind yourself and the people you love of one thing.

You Matter.

Well, that’s all for now.

I wrote it. you read it. What’s your one thing for each day of this next week? (Please respond to this email and tell me)

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