Is This Killing Your Relationships?

Dear Andre, (3-minute read)

This week, I want you to do one thing:

Wake the dead.

What? (you’ll see in a second)

Let’s see if this conversation sounds familiar:

• "How are you today?" Good.

• "How are you?" Good.

• "What do you do?" I have a business. Cool.

• "What do you do?" I work at this company. Nice.

Boring.

We're still in the land of the dead.

People are sleepwalking through conversations.

ANDRE, WAKE UP.

If you keep reading, I promise you’ll learn how to break people out of their zombie autopilot. You'll watch them actually think about their life.

but it starts with you.

Most people are zombies.

Hoping someone will wake them up.

That someone is you.

Why Conversations Feel Dead

Ever noticed how most interactions feel like a scripted scene from a bad sitcom? That’s because people are stuck in default mode.

And here’s the crazy part: you’re probably guilty of this too. (I know it still happens to me sometimes)

So, this week, I want you to do two things:

1. Watch how often YOU give autopilot answers.

2. Shake people out of theirs.

You don’t need to slap them (HR wouldn’t approve).

You just need to ask better questions.

There Are 4 Steps to a Great First Impression

1. Fun (because zombies don’t laugh)

2. Trust (because trust wakes people up)

3. Respect (because respect keeps them listening)

4. Turning the spotlight on the other person (because connection isn’t about you)

Now, let’s talk about where most people mess this up…

Why Compliments Fall Flat

Ever had someone compliment you, but it felt... off? Like they were saying something nice, but it didn’t land?

That’s because compliments without connection are like a zombie’s handshake—cold, limp, and lifeless.

• If you’re not adding fun to the work you do…

• If you’re not building trust through high-fives, hugs, and handshakes…

• If you’re not gaining respect by aligning your words with your actions…

• If you’re not genuinely curious about other people (turning the spotlight)…

Then your words won’t carry weight.

But here’s the good news…

The opposite is also true.

The Secret to Making People Feel Seen

It’s simple: ask better questions (and actually care about the response).

Questions drive down to values.

1. Not just what someone does, but why they do it.

2. Not just where they’re from, but how it shaped them.

3. Not just what’s new, but what’s been challenging them lately?

Most people never get asked these kinds of questions.

When you do, you wake them up.

You bring them back to life.

You wake the dead.

Assume people are fascinating.

You know those people who barely talk?

The ones standing awkwardly at the edge of the conversation?

They’re often the most interesting people in the room.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve met someone and thought, “Eh, they probably don’t have much to say.” Then I started asking them about their life, and BOOM. Turns out, they’re running a business, have wild stories, or know things I’ve never even thought about.

Here’s the mindset:

Instead of assuming people are boring until they prove otherwise…

Assume people are fascinating until they prove otherwise.

Most won’t.

Your Challenge This Week

This week, you’re going to turn the spotlight on others.

1. Define your own values (step by step in last week’s newsletter).

2. When you ask people what they do, ask about their values.

3. Be genuinely curious. Everyone has a story. Find out what makes them tick.

4. Pay attention to the quiet ones. They’re often the most interesting people in the room.

If you won’t see anyone today, call a friend.

When they say, “Eh, nothing exciting happened today,” don’t stop there.

Ask, “Do you like routine days, or do you prefer adventure?”

Boom.

You just cracked open a real conversation.

You just woke the dead.

Most people sleepwalk through conversations.

Don’t let them.

Be genuinely interested.

Define your values.

Try to understand others’.

Wake the dead.

Well, that’s all for now.

Daniel