Turning Indecision Into Action: 7 Ways To Enjoy Meeting New People

Hello friend,

It's Daniel.

You have a decision to make. It might be the most important thing you do today. It will affect your mental health, your ability to find a life partner, your business and career path. What is this decision? Whether to choose daily discomfort, or stay in the status quo. "Inaction is the greatest risk of all." - Tim Ferris

This may feel a bit like drinking water from a fire hose. I expect you'll forget something like most of it. As you read: choose what the one thing you're going to apply to your life today. Click through to the newsletter of the solution(s) that resonates most with you. This will give you the greatest return on your attention.

We all get to decide if we stay within our comfort zones, or push one step further to try new things.

This Monday (June 24th 2024) I'll be launching "Outsider to Insider In 6 weeks." My first cohort to help you develop social skills. Here are the problems I've faced and some ways I've overcome them:

The problem(s):

1. You're afraid to meet new people. (and don't know how to make a good first impression)

2. You're afraid to try new things.

3. You don't give a good representation of yourself both in person and online.

4. You don't know how to be genuinely interested in others.

5. People aren't your highest priority.

6. You don't know how to label and mirror to where people around you feel understood.

7. You don't look for structure and systems to grow your social skills and become better with people. You fail to see that small daily practice is the way to grow this skill. (and it unlocks the life you long for)

If you are thinking about doing something new and your afraid to fail you're not alone. The only way to overcome this fear is simply to take action. If you want to see some of the things I've built over the years I've included a link to them at the very end. (Podcast, YouTube videos, Detailing Business)

I moved to Sacramento from LA with less than 3 weeks notice. I quit 2 jobs and went to Ecuador for 2 months (after dreaming about doing this for 7 years).

The thing I keep learning is that I need to shorten the time between idea and execution.

Solution(s)

First problem: You're afraid to meet new people.

The first step is to smile at people. It's so simple, yet so few people do it! If you smile and wave at people they will almost always smile and wave back as long as they see you.

If you start with a smile and a compliment that is often a great way to start a conversation. Most people only hear and think about what is wrong with them or how they aren't succeeding in life. If you can be a voice that points out the good you see in them they'll often feel extremely grateful towards you.

Bonus: how to make a great first impression

1. Make eye contact and smile when you meet people.

2. When you speak, speak through a smile. This changes the energy that you bring to every conversation.

3. Add fun into every conversation. When someone asks what you do for work find a funny way to describe what you do. (I operate a mobile detailing business, but say that I clean up after aspiring artists). If you can laugh at yourself it will help others feel more comfortable.

4. Be better than good. When most people ask: "how are you?" most people respond with good. Years ago I started saying "I'm grateful to be here." Saying "I'm excellent." or "fantastic" or something other than good that elevates you above the "Good" threshold. (it sets you apart because no one else responds this way)

5. When meeting someone new use this opening: I don't think I've met you yet, my name is ____(your name). By saying I don't think I've met you yet, it implies that you know other people and just haven't met them. By saying your name first it works on the law of reciprocity, you've already said your name. Most people will respond with their name.

6. I'll be writing a future newsletter on conversational paths. Start to notice how often conversations with new people tend to be the same. People will often ask what do you do for work, or what are you studying in school. Start to notice what you talk about when you meet new people.

Sitting with Strangers (how to meet new people)

Second Problem: You're afraid to try something new things.

These can be simple things:

• Driving a new route home from work.

• Brush your teethe with your non-dominant hand.

• Ordering a drink or food you've never tried before.

It can start small. This mindset will expand your life. Creating an internal world where you are willing to try new things. 7 Fast Ways To Be Creative And Avoid A Boring Life

The third problem: Give a good representation of yourself both in person and online:

This starts with how you dress and present yourself. 6 Steps To Dress Well. (Even if you hate picking what to wear everyday) The key is to develop a uniform for the places you go every week and month.

Q: Where do you go each month?

Q: What do you currently wear?

Q: What would present the best version of yourself in that environment?

Fourth problem: You don't know how to be genuinely interested in others.

Fascination with people and their stories.

This will be the most important thing you learn from me. A frog isn't interested in a rock,(boring) but it is interested in a fly (food). What is important to you you'll pay attention to. Start to train yourself to pay attention to the people around you. Here are 6 things that have made a difference for me:

1. Smile

2. Become genuinely interested in other people:

3. Remember: the sweetest sound is that of a person’s own name:

4. Be a good listener by encouraging people to talk about themselves:

5. Ask about the other person's interests and accomplishments

6. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely:

The Age Of The Social Savant. (People Wont Hate you if you do these 6 things)

Fifth Problem: People aren't your highest priority.

If people aren't your highest priority everything else I've talked about won't matter.

Sixth Problem: You don't know how to label and mirror to where people around you feel understood.

These two skills in conversation lead to people feeling heard. I often don't know what people mean by what they say. Using labels and mirrors gave me a framework to understand what people around me are saying.

What I Learned From Never Split The Difference. (2 ways to create clarity in conversations)

Seventh problem: You don't look for structure and systems to grow your social skills and become better with people. You fail to see that small daily practice is the way to grow this skill. (and it unlocks the life you long for)

Organization is my biggest weakness. I've found tremendous traction in my own life by learning about and implementing the 12 week year as the operating system through which I filter my daily actions. It gives me the ability to have daily and weekly feedback. I have a friend who I meet with every other week and we are self accountable. It also lets me celebrate and reflect 4 times in a year rather than only once in December. (way more fun!)

It also means when I get off track, I have to face the truth that I'm not doing what I said was most important to me. And I get to understand why I'm not doing these things.

My Trifecta System (how 13 weeks and 3 systems change how you operate)

Join me this Monday as we will be walking through these 7 ideas day by day over the next 6 weeks. Daily action is the best way to get these ideas from external idea to integrated into who you are.

I hope you see that none of this happened for me overnight. It was a day by day process. Taking action failing, and trying again. This is how I still operate in my daily life. choosing to grow and change, despite how uncomfortable it can be.

Stagnation feels like death. I'd rather be uncomfortable and alive, than barely living.

I hope this inspires you towards one uncomfortable action today.

Sincerely,

Daniel

P.S. Here are some of the actions I've taken:

Recorded 44 Stories in 44 days and shared them on my Instagram (after doing the 1 funnel away challenge)

Recorded 17 podcasts: Dreaming Great dreams. and put out 17 episodes. (recorded first 4 episodes in Ecuador) https://open.spotify.com/episode/7bi146Tw0rkPpud8ptP1rz?si=1546abcc755f4d43

Took a course on YouTube and launched my YouTube channel and put out 42 videos. Here is the interview I'm most proud of: https://youtu.be/ASCzAQOFqKY?si=wMPS_YHhuqYwuMTD

Started a Detailing business and detailed over 400 vehicles in the last two years. Instagram now has over 300 followers after 2 years. (https://www.instagram.com/baarnsdetailing/

If you want to read about one of my biggest failure here is a link to it: https://danielbaarns.beehiiv.com/p/social-skills-goldmine-daily-practice-transforms-lives